Movie Review: SCOUTS GUIDE TO THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE

Horror movies are a genre I usually like to watch with as few people as possible simply because general horror audiences are awful.  Constant chatting, giggling and laughing at inopportune moments, directing each character and what their decisions should be, or critiquing their actions.  Oh, and the cell phones!  Dear lord, the cell phones.  I let in every distraction, I can’t help it, and it yanks me right of the movie.  My screening was an “Ultimate Fan Experience” for Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse in which the general public could purchase a $15 ticket in order to see the movie a day early, get a t-shirt, and dress up like boy scouts — very few dressed like boy scouts, and it was more creepy than it was endearing.  The other “bonus” was a seemingly endless pre-show video from DJ Dillon Francis who has literally a couple of seconds of screen time in the film as, and get this…a DJ.  This was something that SHOULD have been playing as the crowd was seating, but instead was shown after everyone was ready for the movie and were forced to endure with full attention.  It was a painful music video like something in Tim and Eric’s wheelhouse…if Tim and Eric decided not to give a shit and set the video to a medley of Francis’ dubstep sludge.  It was met with rapturous applause at the end, though for being over rather than being a success.  The audience was rowdy and annoying as a result…or by circumstance…or both.  Either way, awful.

[youtube url=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLa1QCVqWzs”]

“But Mike, how was the movie” you ask?  Well, it was better than the experience as a whole.  The boy scouts just aren’t popular these days, and the remaining three Ben (Tye Sheridan), Carter (Logan Miller), and Augie (Joey Morgan) are high school juniors.  Ben and Carter are growing up and out while Augie is still committed.  When the boys camp out in order to earn Augie a new patch, circumstance leads to them to fend for their lives against a town full of zombies, the cause of which I shall not spoil here.  The scouts and their new stripper companion Denise (Sarah Dumont), must survive the night and make it to a secret senior party to save the love of Ben’s life, Carter’s sister Kendall (Halston Sage).

I loved when this was announced as Scouts Vs. Zombies last year.  It had the prospect of children battling the undead, which we’ve never really seen!  We’ll have to wait for that movie to never be made.  Instead of that, it’s a teen movie slapped with plenty of crude humor and loads of CGI gore.  The movie works, for what it’s worth.  It’s a bit too campy and silly for its own good, but there are some genuine laughs to be had.  The tone is for the most part consistent, with a few moments aping to be heartwarming or cute before returning to the juvenile proceedings.  Most of the best bits were spoiled in the marketing, but for those who managed to avoid it there are some clever and cool moments.  For those who were blitzed by the ads there’s one gag they didn’t ruin which is included in what’s easily the best scene in the film (hint: trampoline).

But for every inspired moment there’s another five eye rolls, the worst of which being the dialogue.  It was readily apparent that there were a couple conflicting voices in the script (four of them) battling between formulaic predictability and being quirky and unique, a sign of a punch-up if you’ve ever seen one.  The worst writing revolves around the stripper character who’s somehow even less developed than you could imagine.  She delivers every cliché “tough” character line and is ultimately around for eye candy and a weak plot device.  The direction is flashy as hell, and the lighting and editing are straight out of a modern music video, which isn’t my thing really but fit the vibe at least.  This is from relative newcomer, director/writer Christopher Landon (Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones) who does fairly well aside from the fact that he doesn’t yet have the skill needed to make the cliché anything but.  The big slaying finale in the movie should have been the best bit, but suffered from some wretched editing and what sounded like a really unfinished sound mix drowned out by music instead of effects.  It ends with a whelp rather than a yell, which was the biggest disappointment.

Scouts and last week’s Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension are experiments with AMC theaters and Paramount which allow the movies to be on VOD less than a month from release day.  It’s part of the ever decreasing window between theater and home video that, with genre pictures like this, is a wise decision.  If you’re anxious you’ve got about a week to see it in the theater, but more than likely you’ll rent it in a short while.  It’s certainly worth that rental, and a lot of the audience seemed to enjoy themselves for what it’s worth.  Scouts is a marginally fun movie but a forgettable experience, and it could have been a lot more with a sharper script and a better polish.