‘THE ANATOMY OF MONSTERS’ Review

I genuinely, and I mean genuinely try to like every film I watch. And unfortunately not for altruistic reasons. I find myself very busy some days and I can’t stand wasting my time on anything that’s not worth my time. So whenever I watch a film, whenever I agree to review one, I try to locate each least one thing I like or love about a film. And it’s usually not hard.

Then there’s The Anatomy of Monsters.

I don’t like this film. I don’t hate it, but I can’t say I like it either. Don’t get me wrong director/writer Byron C. Miller is trying super hard here, and it shows. He and his writing partner Paul Morgan have crafted a sustainable idea. Not a nice one, but one you wouldn’t go run screaming from if pressured. This issue is that the execution of this idea is off in the worst ways.

Firstly, the dialogue in this film is barely passable. It doesn’t sound the way people talk. And even when it does, it’s written in a way that makes “flights of fancy” the literal translation of this movie. I don’t believe a word anyone says. And I don’t mean because their characters are unreliable. I mean because they say and do things that make you question whether they know they need to convince us they are real people.

Furthermore, the acting is staler than the dialogue. And when you don’t have a good foundation, horrible acting is just so apparent. Tabitha Bastien (Sarah) seems to try hard, but between her stilted dialogue, predictable story and off-putting performance, she just doesn’t have the chops to pull it off. And neither do co-stars Jesse Lee Keeter (Andrew) and Connor Marx (Nick). Both experienced actors, they feel so out of place here that I craved a better role for both.

Just as off-putting as the acting, the music and soundtrack of this film flops hard. It sounds like the composer, who is writer Paul Morgan, discovered a MIDI machine in his basement and just thought he’s give it a whirl. It’s trying to be 90s-Halloweenesque, but doesn’t manage the power. In fact, some of the score stands to underwrite the point the film is trying to make, and that’s a compounded issue this film didn’t need.

I think there is something to the power of a good base story. But while I think these two tried hard, I don’t think they did research. The story seems like so many other films coming out currently. Andrew kidnaps a woman from a bar. Andrew finds out the woman isn’t what she seems. Andrew learns a valuable lesson about paying attention. This is so predictable and so “in” right now, that I think there is nothing to keep it out of the weeds.

And while the low budget quality isn’t a deal breaker for me, (I personally love Phantasm: Ravager.), I think there isn’t enough story, acting, or deft here to carry it beyond your first inklings. It’s just not where it needs to be and it’s a shame because some of the shots in this film are well filmed.

Overall, I think this film just doesn’t rise above its hurdles. It’s clunky, it’s boring, and it doesn’t work very well. I think this team should try again, maybe they’ll hit gold.

 

The Anatomy of Monsters is now on DVD and VOD/Streaming  

DVD: Amazon

VOD: Amazon, Vimeo, YouTube