Nigel Wethersby, a cryptozoologist living and working near Epping Forest, north of London, has stirred up the international Sasquatch community with a new theory that has everyone questioning beliefs they’ve held for most of their lives. The most controversial part of this theory starts by questioning the very nomenclature of many people’s favorite cryptid. Destroy the Brain! got to sit down for an exclusive interview with Mr. Wethersby to get the details of his highly disputed research.
DTB: You’ve caused quite a stir with your recent findings concerning the Bigfoot myth. What is this new hypothesis of yours that’s got everyone so upset?
NW: Let me start by clearing something up. There is no Bigfoot “myth”, there are undocumented hominids living in dense forests all over the world and I have no “hypothesis “, I used sound scientific methods and witnessed these animals first-hand. As of yet, I have no hard evidence but I am currently in the process of receiving a government grant to further my research.
DTB: Well I guess if you can persuade the government to fund your research you must have a pretty convincing argument.
NW: I believe I am on the threshold of the greatest scientific breakthrough in some time. My studies have shown that the possibility of a 7 foot tall biped being able to survive out in the wilderness is less than 3%. There is simply not enough forageable food or wildlife to sustain such a large animal. They would have to develop some form of agriculture to keep themselves alive and there has been no such evidence.
DTB: And based on your research and personal experiences you believe that calling them Bigfoot is thinking in the wrong direction?
NW: Precisely, on one of my expeditions into the forest I observed three of the animals moving through a grove of fruit trees. They were about the size of a young adult, 4 feet tall with winglike appendages that spanned approximately 6 feet wide. They are similar in appearance to the chimpanzee, covered entirely by a thick layer of fur that looks like foliage. I believe it functions like camouflage and has helped them stay hidden for this long. Their small size and ability to travel long distances with ease leads me to believe that there is likely a global population nearing 6,000.
DTB: So you believe Bigfoot is actually a flying chimpanzee?
NW: I would not compare my life’s work to the fiction of L. Frank Baum. Narrow minded people such as yourself are the reason something as simple as going to the grocery store has become a chore for me.
DTB: I didn’t mean to offend. But since you’re on the subject, what has the reaction from the Bigfoot community been like?
NW: A living nightmare. I expected some backlash from the community but ever since I published my findings people have been sending me death threats, throwing phony Sasquatch foot molds through the windows of my home, and one person even went as far as hacking my personal website to play Harry and the Hendersons on a loop. I am essentially a modern day Galileo, being persecuted by my peers for using science to bring the truth to light.
DTB: So let’s say that you receive your grant, where does your research go from there?
NW: That is the main focus of my upcoming lecture. I plan to set up a series of thermal imaging cameras throughout the area I observed them in and also other locations I believe to be an ideal habitat for these creatures. We will also be deploying large nets in the canopy of the forest in hopes of catching one of these animals alive.
DTB: Well in that case I look forward to a future update on your continuing research. Thank you for your time Mr. Wethersby.
Nigel Wethersby will be lecturing at the North American Sasquatch Convention in Portland, Oregon on April 18th. You can find more information on their website.